The In Between

He's coming.

Our second child could be here any day now.  I long to see him, to feel his soft skin, and meet his sweet face.  I long to no longer be pregnant - to no longer feel like there is weighted beach ball between me and the rest of the world.  I long to be able to hold Dave and Eli closer.  This is where things are different from the first time I was pregnant.  This time I already have a precious little boy in my life.  Last time it was all new.  Life was full of first experiences.  This time I've been there, done that.  It doesn't make it any less special.  And yes, this little boy will have personality and life experiences all his own.  It's just different.

This time around a big part of my mind is focused on soaking up the last few days with just me and Eli.  Soon there will be two little boys to keep up with every day.  Soon I won't be able to give that one precious little face all of my attention.  In the midst of excitement and anticipation something in me grieves over this and wants to soak up every one-on-one moment I can with him - the sticky fingers, food covered face, sloppy kisses, and yes, even the moments of complete obstinence (the terrible twos are well on their way, people).

Suddenly I'm cherishing these moments more than ever, because soon he won't just be my baby boy, he'll be my first born.  Soon all that energy, effort, and love will be spread between two kids.

In the meantime I'm just trying to soak it all in and give him as much as this exhausted pregnant body can offer.


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